One day, Alison and I are talking about her last college project. She is writing a paper on her relationship with Rob. We talked about some of the stepfathers and how our relationship with them affects our lives and the women we have today.
The stepfather and the real father were the terms I used. It was not until a few years ago that my stepfather Ariel and my biological father Jimmy were distinguished. Looking back now, they look like a label. My relationship with Ariel and Jimmy is different from Ali's stepfather and true father, but most of them are the same. We are all very dependent on our stepfather. With every important decision I was forced to make, Ariel was almost always the first to seek advice. The same is true for Ali, who is almost always called Rob first, whether it's about her window, apartment hunting, or just telling him about the most amazing deals about the peach wreath.
My stepfather Ariel grew up with my true father. If you know me, you will know these stories. When I determined that the geometry was a cruel and unusual form of torture, he would patiently sit next to the kitchen table, and I looked over and over again, acute and obtuse. He told me how to bake. Whenever I found a car on the paper I wanted to buy, he would go with me and actually helped me solve my first car, the Toyota Corolla in 1976. He sent me away at my first wedding. Trying to talk to me at the second wedding. The third wedding made me feel happy and at ease. When I cried, he was always there, pulling out his handkerchief to wipe my tears away. When I called, wept and told him that the marriage was over, he proposed to break the ex-husband and ex-husband. knee. Every important milestone in his child's life is there, "Grandpa will come?" is usually the first question they will ask. Ariel is my true father. Until today, I feel that I have done a very unfair thing for him, calling him a stepfather.
For whatever reason, Jimmy is not a real existence in my growth. Whether it is my mother's fault, Jimmy's fault, or just the products of the 70s, it doesn't matter to me. I have learned to give up and become me. The only person who was divorced from his parents when he was 12 years old. A few years ago, my sister and I went to Long Island to see Jimmy. It is a good thing to feel nervous and scared when we drive there. This is the first time we have seen Jimmy, because we are still children, it has aroused all kinds of feelings between me and my sisters, but the feelings are very different. After an hour of returning home from Long Island, we didn't talk to each other. We didn't talk to each other for a few months after the trip. This argument is based on everyone's definition of stepfather and true father, and, as far as I know, the most difficult way is a very personal matter.
Everyone has their own memories, and the people they grow with you every day are often very different. They are different from your mother's memory; they are different from your grandmother's memory. No memory is truth, no memory is wrong, it is just a difference that is remembered. No matter how we remember things, our stepfathers are important male characters in our lives, and they have a large proportion in shaping our adult women.