Sometimes, as parents, we forget how simple and delicate the lessons of life are.
Yesterday afternoon, when I heard the cheers of young people playing a minor league baseball game in a nearby city park, I remembered it. It's amazing when the children's voices in the game can take the sound half a block away and enter the open windows of the living room.
A minor league baseball game may be noisy. The children were excited when the base was loaded and their next batsman squeaked the line into the outfield.
They know that the outfielder may lead the ball, and when he enters the fence in a quick way, all three base players will score and the batter may return home safely in the park. Home run and 4 ribs (bats).
Ah, baseball, spring in the air, summer is coming.
The sheer pleasure of sports is normal and natural for our human experience.
I once read a research report and interviewed tough criminals who were imprisoned for murder and other crimes. A psychologist asks prisoners how their present life has spent their rest of their lives without the possibility of parole.
The answer shocked me and it also made you feel dizzy. What they miss most is not their girlfriend, nor their sexual behavior nor drinking, drugs, or gambling; it is the sound of children playing. Perhaps their true, positive memories of their lives are when they were young.
These are two eye-catching extreme situations: Children who are not cared for in the world, and criminals who are imprisoned. They carry the reality that they will never be free to play.
Since all the violence we see now is by photographing what they think of as "enemies" (most often friends and family) to solve their so-called "problems", I think that some of our children today seem to be Can not deal with difficulties, let alone patience.
How are they apparently lacking coping skills and patience as two essential exercises for adult survival?
This question requires someone smarter than me to give you the right answer.
I will leave this answer and let some psychology-educated professionals think.
At the same time, I choose not to tell you my thoughts, but to share with you what I know.
Here's one thing about Little League baseball. Some parents and leaders of some organizations are teaching baseball that are not really worth teaching. That is:
Some organizations have misled each child's practice regardless of their How hard or how hard is it. In other words, a team loses one game each year, and each child gets a trophy, a team photo, and his or her own baseball card with their cups.
Usually some parents do not want to hurt the children's feelings. Even if the children do not have much hard work, they obviously can not improve any skills of the game, do not understand the game, and really care very little.
I suspect that the parents in this example let their children feel that he or she has done something by insisting on this stupid practice, and learn that they teach their children the lesson.
First, they encourage mediocrity by rewarding nothingness. To continue this stupid behavior for several generations, we will make children think that they can become an adult, do nothing, and get paid for lack of skills, hard work, and production.
Second, they reward children because they have no concept of setting goals and achieving goals. Parents do not encourage any concept of self-improvement and do not encourage it.
Third, they did not teach how to deal with failed study skills, nor did they provide an understanding of failed functions. Losers will be surprised to find that successful people fail more than losers.
One of the great differences in life between losers and winners is that when the winner fails, they immediately return to normal, abandon themselves, learn from experience, and try again.
Fourth, they devalued the children who worked hard, failed, and succeeded. They rewarded a group of children who were pulling, doing nothing, doing nothing, and having no real sense of accomplishment.
I remember I was a 9-year-old kid who went door to door looking for a baseball team that sponsored me. I knew instinctively that if I could give them a free baseball cap and shirt, the kids would want to join my team; we would look like a real team. I once participated in a team with nothing; we can't afford uniforms. We are lucky to have gloves or borrow gloves.
I found this sponsor, this is Jewell Realty in Flint, Michigan. I found a sponsor because I was looking for a sponsor. The person who owns this business is impressed. A 9-year-old child has the guts to spread around the town and asks companies to sponsor his rag team. I have endured these things, and I was kicked off the court because I wanted to be so bad.
This year was 1953 and we were terrible; we lost more games than we won. We were put down, put down, beat a slap, kicked the trash out of us, but I never gave up and I was sure my team did not give up. When someone gave up trying, I kicked him out of the team and found other people.
Two years later, we won the league championship. When we ended, I was surrounded by my friend's winner. I don't need my parents to do it for me. I don't need interventions from adults or young lawyers to do it for me. I need to do it for myself.
When I brought these people together, we took the trophy to Jewell Realty and we shared the excitement of the winner. Later that summer, I would walk through Jewell Realty, see the trophy at the window, and know who I am and what I have become: the winner. Jewell Real Estate did not win this trophy, I won this trophy, and I know what else is needed to win another trophy.
Our parents have never seen us play, they are busy working.
If someone appears after the first season and loses a trophy for each of us, we will not accept it. Think about it: The message they have been sending us is that we think you are so bad that you can never win the championship, so to appease your precious little feeling, here is the trophy to be a loser.
I think I will spit on their faces. I am the kind of competitiveness. I may have been 9 years old, but I don't need to interfere with my set goals. I think this goal is too low. I will trip when they pass through the baseball diamond.
If you think that a 9-year-old child can not have a certain dignity, you are wrong, and many things in your life may be wrong.
Once we have won the championship and experienced our victory moment, then you can take away that trophy, which is not important at all. I know what I sacrificed to win the trophy, and after all the blood, sweat and tears, nothing stupid parents or adults can do will make me feel less about myself. I know that I am a winner and I will not solve the problem for fewer things.
If you do not understand the one thing to raise a child, then parents should understand this: If your child has not experienced at least one day of genuine success throughout the period of study (kindergarten to high school), then at least one day is His or her life, your child will be uncomfortable for life. There is nothing more mysterious than this, stupid and cattle.
You dare not try to stop your child from failing. Let them try, when they fail, pick them up, kick them off, and encourage them to try again. We learn that success is a failure.
If you as a parent cannot become a winner in your own poor life, if all you have to offer is to complain and complain about it, and to complain about how your child is treated, then you should try to avoid leaving your child unreliable Win victory for yourself.
Take a snapshot of two photos.
One of the children won a trophy, a team photo and a baseball card. There was a loser in the picture. He had no achievement. In another snapshot, a child can only get a trophy, or this team has a trophy that can be admired because they have completed their but closed, improved their skills, expressed their hearts, ventured and won League champion. Which is your child?
Any child who has struggled to climb the summit to experience pure competition and the joy of winning will go further.
According to the recruitment experience, I can tell you that there is an incredible correlation between the success of high school or university sports and the success of later years. The reason is simple: neither the winner nor the loser.
Don't misunderstand what I'm sharing here. This is not to say that you cannot win bigger and better victories in your life unless you are a successful athlete in youth. That is because you need to have a sense of accomplishment and identity, hard work, and dedication. , hard work and goals. It may be singing, it may be acting, it may be playing a musical instrument; it can be said that any activity that can make you fail, learn, improve and succeed in a period of time.
Having a strong father at home helps to teach his child to be a winner, learning coping skills, patience, hard work, dedication, hard work, improvement and success are certainly helpful. A powerful single mother can do the same.
Don't play cake with your child when you are 9 years old, don't let them fail in life, let them fight and be successful. If one day they do not do this, they will become adults and they will not know what to do when they are put down, put on, teased and beaten. If you don't protect them and their feelings, they will think that they become powerless and powerless.
They will learn how to deal with and strengthen the experience. When they reach the end of the year, they will be able to dismiss people who are mediocre and spiritual dwarves. They will be very polite because they treat these losers as irrelevant (they are) and are not negatively affected by them.
Then they will soon follow the winner. This is the loser who stands alone and wants to know why.
Do not participate in the competition and win the game. Winning a victory is not the final outcome, but in the process of winning, we learn important skills, which makes us play more effectively in life games. After all, life is not a place of rest. Life is a place to test. It will be as long as you and now.
A wise man said that it repeats here: When everyone is someone, no one else.
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